Building Blocks of Motherhood

I vaguely recall mornings in my 20’s, single, childless when I would crank up LOUD and sing in the shower to music in the bathroom as I got ready for work by a routine that I chose. Vaguely. I remember evenings when I would look at my clean townhouse and think – Huh, should I walk, run or be lazy tonight? Vaguely. I remember weekends that were filled with boating, late night parties, trips and fun with friends. Vaguely.

Now don’t get me wrong or feel sorry for me. Having fun and taking time for myself has once again become a priority in my life, but it’s taken a few solid years to make a comeback! Kids change everything, because they take your basic freedom of choice and replace it with a duty to care for them. It’s a responsibility I welcomed with open arms, but one I was in no way prepared for. I can remember trying to “get back into my routine” when I returned to work after my first son Isaak was born. It took me months to realize there was no going back, I needed a new approach or I was going to lose my mind. So I showered at night, got him up & fed, and then got myself ready in about 10 minutes flat while he sat in a contraption in the bathroom with me. It was the first of many adaptations I had to make in order to find a new happiness, and one of the first lessons I learned.

Stay flexible to change as your kids change.

When Isaak was only 9 months old I had an unexpected pregnancy that ended in an early miscarriage. I felt AWFUL through the two months that it lasted, yet as many professional women I said nothing and took no time off except the afternoon I had to get the DNC. My boss was a man, and although we had a good relationship I felt embarrassed and weak. Which is just stupid. But I pushed through and toughed it out because I thought I should. Then, when I found out I was pregnant with Blake later that year, I thought I was miscarrying again. My doctor suggested I go on bed rest. Friends, let me tell you right now I was a mess and completely out of alignment on my priorities. I still hadn’t realized that my children should always, always come first that was ok. It doesn’t mean you don’t get the work done, but it does mean you are brave enough to stand up for what is right. I’m happy to say that I did finally (after like 8 days) tell my boss, and he actually chewed me out for being at work and told me to go home immediately. I was lucky to have such a great support group at work, but too naive to realize it until that moment.

Be brave enough to put your family first.

And along comes baby #2, Blake! Juggling 2 little’s 2 and under was a WHOLE NEW BALLGAME folks! I know many of you out there have a lot more than 2, and you all get my vote for the “Best” pretty much everything because 2 is definitely my capacity limit! Now not only was I not sleeping or really eating but what little energy I did have was being consumed at 100% capacity by work, Isaak and Blake. I told myself I “had no time” to workout or do anything to help my stress level and boy was that a mistake. By the time Blake was 1 I was running on fumes. That summer I was so fortunate to have the gym across from my office, Barwis Methods, start doing boot camp classes at noon. My boss & co-workers were very supportive, and my noon workouts of legend were born. I’m telling you right now, if I had to pick 1 thing that got me through those years it was that. I went about 4 days a week and got into the best shape of my life. But it wasn’t the esteem boost I needed it was the stress outlet and ENERGY I found. I also found an amazing group of friends that like me, just wanted to be healthy. Thus came another lesson.

Charge your own batteries every day.

Over the years I have had many opportunities, big and small, to grow. These are a few of my big ones, giving you a glimpse into events that have formed my core strength and perspective on life.