Manage Like A Mother

I’ve often joked about parallels between managing a team and motherhood.  These days, however, more than ever the skills and effort it takes to raise children is being respected.  Mothers and fathers alike are dealing with the daily challenges that arise due to quarantine.  Skills like time management, conflict resolution and effective communication have never been more essential to both the success of our paying jobs as well as to our families.

Time management is the number 1 skill I continue to work on in my life.  There is NEVER “enough” time, it’s all about what you chose to make time for.  With young kids, I’m convinced it is impossible to spend “enough” time with them.  They are a black hole of time and energy which is why so many mothers feel complete exhaustion.  Realizing this helped ease some of my mom-guilt, and I moved to try to carve out time with each of my boys to do something fun.  At work, we can often feel this way as well.  Managers have a lot of demands on their time.  You need to spend time working and coaching each individual team member as well as keep your boss happy.  This can be very challenging!  I use the same mental approach, first realizing there is no real finish line.  They key for me to feel satisfied with my work is knowing I met the major needs of the team, and trying to build in time for some coaching or sometimes just listening for each individual.  Prioritizing the essential tasks to focus on first every day also really helps. Weather that means you take a shower at 5:30 am before the kids are awake or you bang out that presentation that’s due before you get bogged down in emails, prioritization is key.

Unrealistic expectations are everywhere in our lives.  Ever have that one customer or coworker that thinks they are always right and that the world revolves around them?  Ever meet a toddler?  Yep, same!  Learning how to explain why it is important to listen, to care about other people’s opinions and how this can actually be a benefit to someone is no small feat!  Limitations exist in all aspects of our lives, but often we need to deal with a situation where we are asked for the impossible.  During this pandemic, I do see more and more compassion and empathy, which are required to unselfishly compromise. To effectively negotiate like a mother, one must not only be a good communicator, but also have authority. Not just the implied authority that comes with being a mom or being a manager, but also earned authority. Every day taking the time to really listen to the needs of your family and team, and then backing up what you say to build trust. This is where the magic happens and authority is achieved. The proverbial “Because I Said So” should be reserved for dire situations like begging for a pet iguana!

We bring our full selves to our work every day, and that means being proud of the skills you’ve acquired as a parent and being smart enough to apply them to your career. I recently heard the term work-home integration. This appealed to me, even though right now most of us are probably feeling like it’s slightly TOO integrated! Integration to me implies that they are working together, and that’s exactly what I strive for. Here’s to continued learning in all aspects of our lives, applied for continued success!